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When it comes to a subject as grand as this one, I can only speak what I’ve found in my own experience. There’s no evidence, no science I can reference. I’ve found that many people disagree with me when I speak of unconditional love, or, as I sometimes like to call it, Love. I call it Love, because I do not think you can properly define the word Love without it being unconditional. To call something Love, but for it to fall short of being unconditional Love, real Love, is to put severe limitation on the word.
This is where jealousy comes into play. Under this context, jealousy is a desire to limit someone else’s love. I do not mean to say that this means people cannot be in happy, loyal, monogamous relationships, but it is very important to understand that by our very identity, we are designed to love everyone. It is unrealistic to think that someone could or would love you “more” than someone else.
Can you see the slight madness in this idea? It is simply unrealistic to expect or want someone you care about to limit their ability to love others. It is not healthy for you, or for them, and will keep you in a place that is removed from reality. Jealousy is not Love, nor does it define Love.
More than this, we are Love. Rather than saying that we are loving, we actually are Love. It is my belief that the full realization of this simple truth, the completely full identification with Love, rather than the separate self, or ego, is enlightenment.
There are many things that get in the way from us coming to this realization, the paradox being that this is more true than anything else that the average person believes about themselves.
So if it is true, why are we not experiencing this as true?
This line of thought can go very deep, about as deep as possible.
All of these things form a thick cloud that murks up the waters of your ability to perceive ultimate reality. Instead of just seeing reality as it is, the brain is too busy interpreting reality, and drawing hasty inaccurate conclusions about it.
In reality, what are you? What thoughts come up when I ask this question?
These thoughts, whatever they are, are not real; they are exactly what holds you back from simply seeing what you are. We have become so removed from the simple act of observing ourselves and our experience as we are, as it is, without judgment, without drawing conclusions, forming opinions, or projecting our own beliefs onto everything, that we don’t really see the truth at all. Instead we tell ourselves stories, with words, about who we are, what we experience, what life is.
The truth of the matter is that in reality, you are what you are. And what you are is so plainly self-evident and right in front of you at all times, if you can simply learn how to just see it without interfering with it in your head. When you say things like “I am happy. I am Steve. I am a good parent. I am an American”, you are not talking about yourself. You are identifying with what you do, think, feel, and experience. This is a very different thing.
And yet, we have all been doing this our entire lives, to the point that we stopped even questioning it a long time ago. And this is why we do not experience ourselves as Love, why we don’t identify with unconditional Love. It’s right in front of us right now, and at all times. There’s just a big web of mental “junk” getting in the way. The many different paths towards spiritual enlightenment are all different methods for clearing this junk out of the way, so it can stop obstructing our plain, clear view of the reality that is right in front of us.
The last thing I want to say about Love is that…
Some people enter into relationships keenly aware of their partner’s shortcomings and weaknesses, with an expectation of them to change. The irony of this is that the very attitude of wanting and expecting something or someone to be different than it is in the present moment (this is another way of saying resistance) is the one thing that stops that very thing you want to change to be able to. The resistance ends up locking the pattern in place, and feeding your creative energy into it, making it stronger.
To want someone to change or be different than exactly what they are is the opposite of Love. If you struggle with this one I highly encourage you to do the counter-intuitive thing and learn to accept the things you have been resisting about your partner. You may be surprised at how magical this can be. Nothing is more healthy and transformative for a person as unconditional Love. You may find that by giving them only Love and acceptance, their so-called “shortcomings” may begin to disappear on their own accord.
To conclude this article, I want to reassure you that
TIP: If you are looking for a real-world example of unconditional love, you do not need to go far. Most dogs are as unconditionally loving as the saints of the earth. It really is amazing how such a powerful thing can be so easily accessible and right in front of us. Notice how loyal dogs are, how quickly they will forgive and forget if someone hurts them or is unkind to them, how eager they are to please, be good, and make their owners or friends happy, and how innocent and unashamed they are in expressing their affection and love for the people in their life.
This article was written by Love.